the new family
by imagination44
Summary: what happens when the Griffins get a new family member. Lets find out.


It was a nice day. Lois, Brian, Stewie, Chris, and Meg were in the living room watching TV.

"And in other news, listen up parents who's kids are smart. Quahog is holding it's annual once a year 'Who's child is the smartest of them all.' Children will be participating in a game show and whoever's child can answer the most questions, then the child will win fifty thousand cash prize." Tom Tucker said.

"Oh yes! I am so gonna win that!" Stewie said. "What are you talking about. Your a baby, you have to be 13 to 17 years old to win it." Brian said. "I think your forgetting Brian, I'm a genius. I'll just invent something to make me look older." Stewie said. "Yeah but you need a parent or gardian and Peter and Lois aren't gonna be any help considering they won't understand." Brian said. "Unless you act as my parent. I'll split the cash with you." Stewie said. "Really? Well then lets win that prize money son." Brian said. "Yeah don't call me that. Only at the contest." Stewie said. Peter walked in and said, "Everyone I have an announcement to make. Damion come on in." Peter said as I walked in. "Peter who is this?" Lois asked. "This is Damion and he's our new son. I adopted him." Peter said. "It's nice to meet you all." "What?!" Lois said. "Yay I have a new brother!" Chris said. "Damion why don't you go check out your new room. Chris show your new brother to the guest room which will now be Damion's room." Peter said. As I followed Chris. "Peter what the hell is this about?! Why did you adopt another child?!" Lois asked. "You know how the 'Who's child is the smartest of them all' is held every year. Well I adopted Damion because he's gonna help us win. Kids got an IQ of 120." Peter said. "120?!' Brian said. "Wow thats smarter than Obama and when he found Osama Bin Ladin." Stewie said.

"Sir we've searched all over the eastern border lines, but nothing." The agent said. "…..Oh my god…It's so obvious." Obama said.

The military agent rang the door bell. Rosy Odanald opened the door. "Can I help you?" She asked as he shot her in the head. He took off the mask and it was Osama. "We got him!" He said.

"But adoptions take years. How the hell did you even get him so fast?" Lois asked. "Actually I've been trying to adopt him for 2 years. Finally got the papers done." Peter said. "What?! But you needed me to sign those papers too." Lois said. "I just forged your signature." Peter said. "Peter,I don't care what you thought when you adopted him, but you are taking him back. We cant afford to feed another mouth." Lois said. "Look Lois when we win we'll be able to pay for his expenses. Plus I'll finally be able to afford that power suit I've been wanting." Peter said.

Peter was wearing a silver armored power suit. He walked to the house and knocked on the door. The chicken opened the door and Peter fired a laser at him turning him into ashes.

"Peter!" Lois said. "Look Lois it's gonna be fine. Plus he's so smart we don't even have to worry about paying for college. Plus he could help us with our bills and everything else I'm too stupid to do." Peter said. "…..Fine Peter." Lois said. "Yes! Oh don't worry Lois you won't regret this I swear." Peter said. "Looks like you've got some competition." Brian said. "Don't worry Brian. Once I change my age I'll be even smarter than I am now." Stewie said. "Yeah and gayer." Brian said. "What?" Stewie. "What?" Brian said.

The next day everyone except Peter was downstairs eating breakfast and I just came downstairs and joined them. "Good morning everybody." I said as I sat down. "Good morning Damion." Lois said. "So whats for breakfast?" I asked. "Today were having bacon and eggs." Lois said. "Wow that sounds delicious. Way better then what the orphanage gave us." I said. "What did they give you?" Meg asked. "Well usually we got stale bread and some crackers. They didn't really have that much money there." I said. "That sounds awful. Well it's a good thing that your here now." Lois asked. "By the way I've kinda been wondering something. Is Peter…..Well…" I said. "Yes Peter's retarded. So don't be surprised for what ever goes on in this house." Lois said. Brian walked in with the mail. "Lois we just got the bills for the electricity and water. Doesn't look good." Brian said. "Oh god. How are we ever gonna afford this?" Lois asked. "If you don't mind can I see it." I asked as Lois handed it to me. "Oh this isn't a big deal. Just let me handle this Lois." I said. "But it's our bill and how are you gonna pay for it?" Lois asked. "Don't worry worry about that. All you guys need to do is make a few cut backs and your as good as a rabbit who's just been told he has no cancer." I said.

"Good news Mr. Cottontail. The test results came back and you don't have cancer." Dr. Hartman said. "Oh thank god." said. "But we did find something else. It appears to be a small growth on your testicles and you have hepatitis." He said. "Oh…How bad is it?" The rabbit asked. "I'd have to say very bad." He said.

"B-But we just cant let you handle our accounts, your just a teenager." Lois said. "Lois I'm apart of this family now and my families having trouble with the bills. So let me help." I said as I went to handle the bills in the living room. "Wow he's really doing a great job. I think he may actually help this family." Brian said. "You know at first I was unsure about this, but he really is starting to help us out." Lois said. "Dame! He's smarter than I thought. If I'm gonna win this thing than I gotta get him to drop out. And I think I know how." Stewie said. "What did you just say?" Brian asked. "Oh…I was just saying how Lois's cooking tasted like an indian buffet." Stewie said.

Stewie walked over to the buffet table and said, "Lets see whats good. There's green curry, pig thats half baked, grasshoppers that are fried, beetles that are half alive and slowly trying to escape, and oh awesome some ice cream." Stewie licked it and puked. "Thats not ice cream! Thats peed on toilet paper!" Stewie said as he puked.

I was in my room writing in a note book when Stewie came into my room. "Hey Damion." Stewie said. "Oh hi Stewie." I said. "You know this family is just using you." Stewie said. "Excuse me?" I asked. "Think about it. Why else would you be here. Your a smart person so their just using you for the bills and more importantly for the 'Who's child is the smartest of them all'. It's the reason they adopted you." Stewie. "N-No way, they care about me." I said. "Oh really. Come with me." Stewie said as I followed him. We were hiding in the stairwell listening to Peter and Lois.

"Tomorows the big day for the Who….Screw it I'm just calling it the show. The shows opening. Hope your kids are studying right now because tomorrow your gonna put that brain to good use." Tom said. "Dad I'm tired of studying." Jake his son said. "Get back in the car and study or else I'm gonna lock you in the basement again." Tom said when he just remembered he was on T.V. "Haha just kidding. I would never lock him in the basement." Tom said.

"Man tomorrow we make our money. That money boy is gonna make us a fortune." Peter said. "You know I think your right Peter. He's so smart their's no doubt he'll win." Lois said. "See Lois, I knew this was a great idea. He's our fairy god money." Peter said. "Oh my god. They're just using me for the money. Those bastards." I said as I ran to my room. "Excellent, now That money's mine." Stewie said as he was about to go upstairs, but slipped and fell.

The next day everyone was eating breakfast and Lois came in hysterical. "Peter, I just found this note in Damion's room and it says he ran away!" Lois said. "What?! Why would he do that?!" Peter asked. "I don't know, but we have to find him!" Lois said. "Don't worry Lois I'll find him. To the Peter Rocket!" Peter said as he jumped into a rocket and flew up into the air, but ran out of fuel and crash landed to Clevelands old house and the bathtub fell and broke.

Brian and Stewie were in Stewie's room getting ready to activate his machine. "Alright Brian. If my calculations are correct then this should make me older." Stewie said. "You know your a monster." Brian said. "Hey what the fuck man?" Stewie said. "I cant believe you made Damion run away." Brian said. "Look what would you rather have. The money or a new job cause thats what your gonna have to do if we keep him. Now activate the machine." Stewie said as he stepped in and pushed the big button. The machine started to glow and then blew up. Stewie and Brian were blasted out side on their front lawn leaving Stewies room in shambles. "Ow…Are you ok Brian?" Stewie said as he was in pain. "Yeah I think I'm ok. What the hell man I thought you said it would work!" Brian said as he stood up. "No I said 'If' 'If'. Get your hearing checked stupid dog." Stewie said as they both notched Meg on the floor who wasn't moving. "Is she dead?" Brian asked as Stewie grabbed a stick and started poking Meg.

It was dark and Peter and Lois were out looking for me. "Damion!" Lois called out. "Damion!" Peter called out. "We've been searching for hours. How are we gonna find him?" Lois said when they heard a noise from the trees. They went up to a tree that had moving branches and I couldn't hold on anymore and fell from the tree. "Ow! Son of a bitch!" I said. "Damion!" Lois said. "There you are we were so worried!" Peter said as they tried to hug me but I dissed them. "Get away from me!" "W-Whats wrong Damion?" Lois asked. "You guys don't care about me. You only care about the money. So why should I even listen to you." I said. "What? Damion we don't care about the money." Lois said. "I heard you two talking downstairs about how I was your fairy god money." I said. "Lois said that." Peter said. "Look Damion I know we got excited cause we thought you were gonna win the competition, but it doesn't mean we only care about the money." Lois said. "Well I don't know if I can believe you." I said. "…..Then lets just forget about the competition. And from now on we handle the bills and you just do what ever you want." Lois said. "R…Really?" I said. "Sure buddy. After all money doesn't matter to us. You do." Peter said. "…Thanks…." I said as I hugged them. "Come on. Lets go home." Lois said as we walked back home.

We were all sitting in the living room watching TV. "And congratulations to Shelly Wilks who won the competition. Even though it was 2 weeks ago. As for the parents who's kids didn't win I suggest punishing them for not studying hard enough. I would suggest doing something like locking them in the basement with out food for 2 days." Tom said. "I'm sorry you guys couldn't get that money." I said. "Oh we don't care about that. All we care is that our kids are happy." Lois said. "Thank you Lois." I said when Meg walked in in a cast and said, "I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. No one came to visit me." Meg said. "Shut up Meg." I said as the Griffins cheered for how I started fitting in.

It's been 4 months since I've been living with the Griffins and I've gotten quite used to it. Peter, Chris, Stewie, Brian, Meg, and me Damion the adopted son of the Griffins were watching TV.

"And in later news, local boy dies by chocking on a bazooka Joe bubble gum wrapper just because it made a joke about how it should be eaten." Tom said. "That's such a tragedy Tom." Joice said as Tom took out a bazooka joe bubble gum and started reading the comic. "Oh so it wants me to eat it. Alright." Tom said as he stocked the wrapper in his mouth and started choking on it. He kept banging his hands on the table and then fell out of his chair choking for help as Joice just sat there staring at the camera. Tom finally shut up and passed out. "And now for the weather report." Joice said.

Lois walked in and said, "Peter I need you to get me Brian's prescription." "Oh come on Lois. So he has worms, who cares. Their not hurting him. He's just letting them stay for rent. If anything he should be grateful that he has them and making money from it." Peter said. "Peter their not really paying rent. After all their worms." I said. "Really?! Well Brian if I were you I'd kick them out if their not even paying." Peter said. "Look I would do it myself, but I don't wanna keep taking the bus or taxi ever since they added that stupid music of...well I'm not gonna say." Lois said. "What song is it?" Chris asked. "Oh have you not heard?" Peter asked. "Heard what?" Chris asked as Peter started singing "Surfing Bird by the trash men" and we all got annoyed. "A well a bird, bird, bird. Bird, birds the word. A well a bird, bird, bird. Bird , birds the word. A we-" I punched Peter in the stomach so he would shut up. "Oww! What the hell man?!" He said holding his stomach. "Peter we warned you many times. If you start singing that stupid song then I'm gonna punch you in the stomach." I said. "I still have no idea how Peter was able to get Mayor West to change the music in cabs and busses." Lois said. "Oh I knew how to change his mind, very easily." Peter said looking devilishly.

"Alright Ready?" Peter asked. "Ready." Adam said. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot." They both said as Peter's hand was a rock and Adam's hand was paper. "Yes rock crushes paper! I win!" Peter said excitedly. "Oh darn. Well Peter a deals a deal. I'll change all the music in busses and cabs to your song." Adam said. "Alright! But have you not heard about the word?" He asked. "Heard what?" Adam asked. "A well a bird, bird, bird. Bird, birds the word. A well a." Peter sang.

"Why don't you just take the car?" Peter asked. "I can't because of that republican function you added to the car." Lois said.

Lois entered the car and turned on the engine. "Identify. Are you a man or woman?" The car asked. "Woman." Lois said as the car pointed a gun at her and the car said, "Please step out of the car miss."

"Why don't you just take the function out?" I asked. "Because It cost 9,000 dollars to get it removed." Lois said. "What the hell. How much did it cost to install it?" Brian asked. "15,000." Peter said. "Where'd you get the money?" Brian asked. "Remember when Joe, Quagmire, Cleveland, and I were stealing money from Lois's dad?" Peter asked. "Yeah." Brian answered. "Well when they weren't looking I swiped a few 20 grand." Peter said. "Look Lois why don't you just get another car?" I asked. "You know what. That's a great idea." Lois said. "Alright I'm getting another car!" Peter said excitedly. "No Peter, I'm getting another car. By myself. Remember the last time you bought me a car." Lois said.

"Check it out Lois." Peter said. "Peter it just seems a bit dangerous." Lois said. "Come on try it out." Peter said as he put Lois on the catapult and pulled the lever. Lois flew far and out of his sight.

"So forget it. Your not coming with me. Understand?" Lois asked. "Yeah I got it." Peter said.

Lois, Brian, and Stewie were watching TV when they heard a honking noise and went outside. "Hey Lois. Check out your new car." Peter said as he was driving a green Homer. "Peter are you out of your mind. This car is way to big for me! Plus I told you I was gonna get my own car and how did you even afford it?!" Lois asked. "Simple. I sold our old car." Peter said. "What?! Peter the point of getting a new car was so we'd have two cars!" Lois said. "Come on you haven't even given it a try yet. Just sit in it." Peter said. "Peter no. Now you go return that car and when you get back I'm gonna be the one who picks the car!" Lois said as she went in the house. "Man look at the size of that thing. It's bigger then Opera." Stewie said.

"Alright please stand on this so we can weigh you." The doctor said as Opera stepped on it and her toe broke it. Then her weight was too much for the floor that she broke the floor.

I was in the kitchen just typing on my laptop when Lois came in. "You know Damion you seem to be staying home more often. Why don't you go hang out with some of your friends?" Lois said. "Lois you know I don't have any because I hate humans." I said. "You know you gotta start changing that attitude of yours or else your never gonna grow up well in this world." Lois said. "Lois being social doesn't really affect how one does in this world, that's just something people say to loners. And besides I can't stand being around idiotic people who just keep acting like stereotypical teenagers who are also jerks." I said. "Well even so you can't just keep living like this. What if you wanna get a girlfriend. What if she says the same thing?" Lois asked. "Well then she wasn't the one for me." I said. "God your so stubborn. Even more then Peter when he wouldn't change Stewie." Lois said.

"Peter it's your turn to change Stewie." Lois said. "Yeah sure Lois." Peter said as Lois left the living room. Peter made sure she was gone and just grabbed Stewie and put him out side. "Now you just let nature take it's course alright buddy." Peter said as he closed the door. Stewie started shivering from the cold. "I hate it here." Stewie said.

I was at school and I walked into class then sat down. The bell rang and the teacher said, "Class we have a new student today. Her name is Lila and she just moved from Iowa." She had long pink hair and blue eyes. She was wearing low cut skinny jeans that cut off at her knees and she had an orange blouse on with a white shirt on the inside. "Nice to meet you all." She said. The guys in the class whistled and said stuff like, "Wow she's hot." "Dame." "I may rape her later." I just looked away not really caring what she looked like. "Alright Lila you may sit down next to Damion over there." The teacher said as she walked towards me and sat at the desk next to mine. She looked at me and then winked at me. I was a bit freaked out and had no idea how to respond. "Alright class today we will learn about the effects of cocaine. So I'm gonna snort this cocaine I bought from my drug addicted neighbor and you all are going to write down my reaction." He said as he snorted the cocaine. When we saw his face his eyes were wide open and his hair looked a bit messed up. "Wow that...that is some good stuff...right there. Well class I'm just gonna go kill someone that looks at me funny... Class dismissed." He said as he left. "...am I the only one thinking we should call the cops?" I said.

It was lunch time and I was just eating by myself. Then the new girl decided to sit next to me. I was a bit freaked out, but I just tried ignoring her. She wasn't even eating her lunch. All she was doing was staring at me. "Can I help you?" I asked. "Your not like everyone else are you." She said. "Huh?" I asked. "You don't act like a nerd or a douche. I'm kinda interested in you." She said. "Thanks but I hate humans so I won't be your friend." I said. "Then how about a girlfriend?" She asked as I looked at her shocked. "W...Wha..." I said confused. "How about it. I could be your girlfriend. I find you very interesting and what you just said actually makes me like you even more." She said. "Man this is wierd. Like the time Peter and I went to see Sweeney Tods performance." I said.

"So how many of you have ever seen a president with a cigarette huh. I mean what's up with that. They don't smoke at all when it should be good and lighten up their image." Sweeny said. "That makes no sense at all!" I said. "Yeah everybody smoke!" Sweeney said.

School ended and I was waiting for Lois with Chris and Meg when Lila came up to me to talk. "Hi." She said. "Yeah hi." I said. "Who are you?" Chris asked. "I'm Lila. I'm the new girl here and I'm Damion's girlfriend." Lila said. "I never really agreed to that." I said. "Wow it's very nice to meet you. I'm Meg, Damion's sister." Meg said. "Meg stay away from her. Hi I'm Chris, his brother. Why is your hair pink?" Chris asked as he pushed Meg aside. "Oh I dyed it like this because I think it suits me better." She said. Lois finally came and said, "Come on kids lets go." "Hey mom look. The pink haired girl is Damion's girlfriend." Chris said. "I already said I never agreed to it." I said. "Wow good for you Damion. What's your name?" Lois asked. "Lila Nile." She said. "Well Lila it's nice to meet you. Say would you like to eat dinner with us?" Lois asked. "I would love to." Lila said. "Whoa, Whoa. Lois don't just invite her like that I mean come on. Plus I'm not even her boyfriend she just started calling me that." I said. "Well even so it's nice that you found someone who's interested in you. Now come on let's go." Lois said as we got in the car and drove off, but left Meg.

We were all sitting in the living room and the family was asking Lila all sorts of questions. "So are there zombies in Iowa?" Peter asked. "No not at all." Lila said. "Oh. Well I'm sorry pet zombie, but it looks like I'm gonna have to keep looking for your friends." Peter said to the Zombie at the window as it looked sad and walked away. "Lila what made you so interested in Damion anyway?" Lois asked. "Well when I first walked in the classroom all the guys were staring at me like I was some eye candy and it made me disgusted, but Damion stared at me differently. He stared at me not as an object but like he didn't care what I looked like and I knew that I loved him." She said as the family looked surprised. "Heh heh you mean like him." Lois said. "No love. I'm in love with your son." She said as The family looked at me and I was shocked that she meant she loved me. "Wow this is stranger than the time Peter found that dead bat in the attic." Brian said

"Oh I wonder what's in this box?" Peter said as he opened the box. "Ahhh! Oh my god! Eeww! Eeww! Oh my god!" Peter screamed as he ran out of the basement.

"So...when you say you like him you mean..." Lois said. "I love him. I love him very much." Lila said. "Oh come on I'm sure your just being a bit over dramatic. After all you two just met." Lois said. "Actually it was pretty much love at first sight." Lila said. "Um..I appreciate you saying that ,but I'm not so sure if I can believe you." I said. "Come here let me tell you something." She said as I got up walked towards her and she started whispering in my ear. My face started to look really surprised. She finished and I was just speechless. "I've never told anyone that. Your the first." She said as I gulped. "What the hell did she say?" Peter asked. "Let's just say Her love for me is as real as an Italian making pizza.

"Hey dad! When I grow up I wanna be a fire man!" The child said. "No your gonna be making pizza's. You know why? Because your Italian." The father said. "But dad I do-" "You'll make pizzas and you'll like it!" The father shouted.

"How come every time I say I love a guy everyone just thinks I'm crazy, but when she says it everyone believes her?" Meg said. "Because Meg you've fallen in love with every boyfriend you've had and even guys who show you one act of kindness. That's not how you know if you know you love someone." I said. "Yeah Meg like every time Brian shows you kindness and you fall in love with him." Lois said.

"Hey Meg you want some coffee?" Brian asked. "You wanna make out?" Meg asked as Brian looked disgusted.

"So I told you how I feel. Now how will you respond to them?" Lila asked. The family just looked at me curious about my answer and I was nervous cause I was under a lot of pressure. "Well before I answer. I have something to ask you. What exactly is your out look on life?" I asked as she whispered in my ear. She finished and I looked at her surprised then smiled. "I think...I'll accept your feelings." I said as she Lila looked excited and the family looked a bit displeased. "Ok seriously what the hell did she tell him it's driving me nuts! Like a guy who can't make up his mind at a restaurant." Peter said.

"What would you like?" The waiter asked. "I'll have the ravioli." The lady said. "And you sir?" He asked. "Ummmm. I can't decide what to order cause all of it looks good." The gentleman said. "If you want I could recommend something." The waiter said. "But then I might regret not ordering the other stuff." The gentleman said. "Then just get the same thing as me." The lady said. "Yeah but. We might as well share it if that's the case. But I don't know. Can you give me 2 more hours to think." The gentleman said.

We were eating dinner and everyone was acting silent and awkward. "...is there a reason your all acting pretty quiet?" I asked. "Well...Damion it's just...I mean out of all the people I know I never expected you to be a guy who says yes to a girl who says, 'She loves you' when you just met and not think she's probably crazy." Lois said. "What the hell. Lois come on she's perfectly fine." I said. "Well do you even love her back?" Lois asked. "Well I can't really say it back, but I do like her and in time I might fall in love with her." I said. "And I'm willing to wait as long as it takes." Lila said. "Lois it's obvious these two have made up their minds and have decided to make this work. We have no right to tear them apart." Brian said. "Oh don't be a hypercrit you tried to separate Cleveland and that girl you liked a lot by bringing him and Laretta back when you knew that it was an awful thing to do." Lois said. "Ha! In your face dog." Stewie said. "Look the difference is that I think that this is great for Damion. After all he always talks about how he hates humans and now he's giving a human a chance." Brian said. "Oh no she's not human." I said. "What?" Brian asked. "Well what she whispered to me proved to me that she's not like any other human so I count her as someone special." I said. "Oh for the love of god. This is just ridiculous." Lois said. "Look I don't really see what's the big deal. You wanted me to have a girlfriend and now I do." I said. "Yeah but...it's just what if their's something off about her?" Lois asked. "So it might be fine. Besides I don't think you should be the one talking about something off." I said. "You know this food is good." Peter said. "Thank you Peter. Plus it's good for you." Lois said as Peter looked at the food and threw the plate at the wall. "Peter what the hell?!" Lois said. "I hate healthy food." Peter said with a pout. "I rest my case." I said. "Look it's just I don't think it's wise for people to fall in love so fast. Lila I'm also worried about you. You don't even know much about Damion so what makes you so sure that you love him?" Lois asked. "Well...it's a bit hard to describe, but when I look into his eyes I see something beautiful. Something so amazing that it makes my heart skip a beat and when I touch him I feel warmth all around my body. That's how I know I love him." Lila said. We all looked at her amazed. "W-Wow. That's so beautiful." I said. "W-Well even so it's still a mistake." Lois said. "You know Lois I've had enough. If your so against me dating a girl who says she loves me even though we just met. Then you can just go fuck yourself you bitch! Come on Lila lets get out a here." I said as she grabbed my hand and she stopped me. I looked at her and she looked upset. "Apologize to her now." Lila said. "What?" I asked. "Apologize to your mom." Lila said. "Why? All she's been doing is trying to separate us." I said. "Damion you have no idea how lucky you are to have a mother that cares about you. After all my moms dead and my father is always too busy working to spend time with me. So your lucky to have a family to eat with and that pays attention to your life." She said. "...wow...I never thought about how others have it worse. Lois I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that." I said. "It's okay. I'm sorry for saying what I said too. It's just I fell in love with Peter too fast and I love him very much, but he always does these stupid things that sometimes piss me off and I didn't want you two to make the same mistake." Lois said. "But aren't you happy?" I asked. "...well yes...I am happy. After all not a dull moment goes by when I'm married to Peter. So thank you Peter for making my life exciting." Lois said as she kissed Peter on the cheek. "Aww I love you too Lois." Peter said. "Man I'm glad we worked that out. We've been arguing like an Italian does with a pizza place that's run by Mexicans." I said.

"Hey Mexican! What the hell do ya think your doin?!" The Italian man asked. "We're just selling pizzas." The Mexican man said. "We're the only ones who are allowed to make pizzas you make Mexican food! Like nachos or tortias!" The Italian man said. "This a free country so we allowed to make pizzas." The Mexican man said. "Not on my watch." The Italian man said as him and the Mexican started fighting.

"Lila thank you for setting things straight with us." Lois said. "No problem. It was partly my fault anyway. Well I should get home now." Lila said. "I'll drive you home." Lois said. "Oh no you don't have to do that. I live nearby actually." Lila said. "Then I'll walk you home." I said. "Alright. Thank you for dinner and it was nice meeting you all." Lila said as we both left.

We got to her house and I said, "Well it was nice having you over and it seems this day has been real crazy hasn't it." I said. "Yeah. We met, I confessed, you said yes, and we got to an argument with your parents." She said. "Well then I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I was about to leave, but she grabbed my hand and when I looked at her she kissed me. She broke the kiss and I was really surprised. She smiled and winked then went inside her house. "...I think my life just became a bit interesting. Like at some nights the moon and stars can talk." I said.

"Oh wow some guys getting mugged." The moon said. "Hey moon check it out. Some chicks getting laid in an ally." The star said. "Yeah get it on with that black dude you whore. Yeah...oh shit he slit her throat." The moon said.

Meanwhile at the Griffin household Lois was looking in the fridge for some food but it didn't have that much food. "Great now I need to get some groceries." Lois said as she went to the garage and saw the Humer. "Dame it! Peter still hasn't returned this car. Well I do need to get groceries." Lois said as she got in the car and started driving. "Huh I'm up pretty high. Plus the other cars look pretty small, like Michael Jackson's penis." Lois said.

Lois was loading the groceries into the car when people started giving her compliments. "Hey nice car. You must be pretty powerful if you have that car." Some guy said. "Oh no not really. But thank you." Lois said. "Wow that car looks really nice. You must have a great job." Some random lady said. "Oh thank you, but I don't work." Lois said. A lot of people kept going up to her and gave her compliments. "Oh my. I feel like Elin Degenerious when she's surrounded by cats.

Elin gave out a big yawn and then a bunch of cats swarmed her because her breath smelled like fish.

Lila and I were watching tv when we saw Lois coming back in the hummer and honked the horn. We both went outside and Lois said, "What up lame asses!" "Lois what the hell, why are you driving that thing? I thought you were gonna return it?" I asked as Lois stepped out of the car. "I was, but then I got to feel amazing. When I'm in that car I feel like I'm bigger than the world and lots of people give me compliments." Lois said. "Lois that thing is nothing but a gas guzzling monster that's killing this environment. You should return that car and buy one that's healthy for the environment." I said. "Oh please, you just want me to return it so you can feel better then me." Lois said. "What?!" I said. "That's right your smarter then everyone which is what makes you feel better then everyone, but now that I have this car I'm better then everyone and you want me to return it. Well you can just go fuck off!" Lois said as she climbed back into the car and drove off but stuck her head out the window and screamed, "Yeaaaahhh!" "Wow. She's acting more powerful then a fat guy when he does one sit up." Lila said.

"Come on do it! Do it! Push it! Yes I did it! I'm stronger now haha! Eat my fuck world!" Said the fat guy who did one sit up.

It's been two days since Lois started driving that car and she's been acting like a total bitch. We were all eating take out cause Lois was out driving that stupid car. "Dad how come for the past two days we've been eating take out?" Meg asked. "Meg shut up. It's better then your moms cooking." Peter said. "It's like this Meg because Lois has been driving that stupid Humer 24 hours straight and she's somewhere getting drunk." I said. "Peter why the hell did you even get that stupid Humer." Brian said. "Hey how do you think I feel. Because Lois keeps driving that thing I can't get to the bar and I can't take a bus or cab because People keep crashing the buses and cabs." Peter said. "That's because of that stupid song of yours. People can't stand listening to it that they kill them selves." I said. "Look the bottom line is we gotta get rid of that car." Brian said. "How? Lois never leaves the car. She's even sleeping in it 24/7." I said. "...I got it. All we have to do is get her out of the car and I'll shoot it with this rocket launcher." Peter said as he brought out a rocket launcher and Stewie looked more surprised then us. "...Peter you don- where the hell did you even get that thing?" I asked. "I got it in Stewies room. It was just laying around in his room so I took it." Peter said as Brian and I looked at Stewie and he just looked at his food. "Look Peter were not gonna destroy the car. We're just gonna return it so you can get your old car." I said. "Oh you never let me have any fun." Peter said.

"Hey kid. I got candy." Some strange man said. "Really?" Peter asked. "Yup and also video games." He said. "(Gasp) Oh boy video games!" Peter said excited. "Peter your not following him." I said as I grabbed his hand and walked him away from that man. "Awwwwwwwwwwwww." Peter said in disappointment.

Lois stopped at a gas station to refuel the Humer while Peter and I grabbed Lois. "Hey Peter! Damion! Let me go!" Lois said. "No way it's for your own good Lois. Now Brian!" I said as Brian went in the Humer and drove off. "Sorry Lois, but it's for your own good. You were acting like jack ass and you were letting that car take over your life." I said. "...(sigh) your right. I don't know what came over me. It's just I felt appreciated when I was in that car." Lois said. "What? Lois we appreciate you." Peter said. "Then how come I never feel like you do." Lois said. "Lois we appreciate everything you do for us. We appreciate your cooking. We appreciate you cleaning the house, we appreciate you for so many things." I said. "Really?" Lois asked. "Of course honey." Peter said as he hugged Lois. "Wait why's Brian driving the other way?" I asked. "Whoooooaaaaa yeaaaahhhh! Suck it bitches!" Brian said. "Crap." I said as I dialed my phone. "Hello?" Stewie said. "Yeah blow up the car, but get Brian out of it first." I said. "Copy that." Stewie said as he saw the car, jumped through the window, jumped out with Brian and fired a rocket at the Humer and it exploded. "W-What happened?" Brian asked. "You became a victim of the car. Like the Cheetos guy when he was a victim of snorting Cheetos." Stewie said.

"Sir what's this?" The officer asked. "A bag of crushed cheetos." Cheetos guy said. "And what were you going to do with these?" The officer asked. "...fuck your mother with it." The Cheetos guy said as the officer looked pissed.

We were all eating dinner which Lois cooked. "I'm glad your back honey. I missed your cooking." Peter said. "But dad didn't you say moms cooking wa-" Meg got cut off by Peter as he threw his plate at Meg and she was unconscious. "See!" Peter said as they all laughed. "...am I the only one thinking we should take Meg to a hospital?" I asked as they just ate dinner silently. "Ok we'll deal with it some other time." I said.

It was a beautiful morning today. The family was sitting at the table while Lois was finishing making breakfast. Peter walked in and said, "Morning family. So what's going on today?" "Nothing much just making some breakfast." Lois said. "Ah that's good. Where's Damion?" Peter asked as he sat down. "I don't know. I called all the kids down here." Lois said. "I think he's still in bed cause he stayed up late hanging out with Lila and didn't get home till 2." Brian said. "You know he's been spending more time out with her then this family anymore." Lois said. "Lois it's fine. After all this is what you wanted right. You wanted him to get out of the house more. Now he is. And with a hot girlfriend too. Man she's really hot. Like Megan fox and when she does it with Jessica Simpson." Peter said. "Yes I know but we barely see him anymore. It's like we're living with a bug." Lois said. "Look Lois this is the first time Damion's taken an interest in a human being for the first time in his life and he's no longer acting alone. Give the guy a break. After all having a girlfriend is great." Brian said. "Oh really?! How's your past relationships going? Oh right they all fell down the gutter cause your girlfriends pissed you off. Ha." Stewie said. "Look it's different with Damion alright. He's actually acting more cheerful around the house and he's socializing with the family a bit more to." Brian said. "Even so I feel like we're still losing him and he may just disappear." Lois said. "Look Lois you got nothing to worry about, unless he has sex with her. Then he makes a choice whether to care for his family or girlfriend and if he chooses his girlfriend then you can worry." Peter said. "I'm going upstairs to wake him up." Lois said as she went upstairs looking nervous. "Peter that crap wasn't true why the hell did you tell her that?" Brian asked. "Because the demon told me to?" Peter said. "What?" "I'm sorry Brian I found and accidentally smoked some of your pot that was just lying around." Peter said. "How do you even accidentally smoke pot?" Brian asked.

Peter woke up from bed and stretched. He took out a lighter and started walking with it. He accidentally tripped and the lighter landed on a bag of pot. Peter put it out but looked to make sure no one saw him. So he sniffed the pot and he was in another world.

Lois opened my door and said, "Damion it's time to wake up..." Lois said as she saw me with my shirt off holding Lila in my arms who was also in my bed. "Oh my god!" Lois said. I woke up and stretched. I then noticed Lois and said, "Lois! It's not what you think!" "Oh my god! You two did it!" Lois said. "We didn't have sex." I said as Lila woke up and she stretched. She was wearing clothing. "Good morning honey." She said as she kissed me on the cheek. "See we're both wearing clothes." I said as I got off the bed and was wearing shorts. "Oh. So you two just slept in the same bed together. Wait why did she sleep over? Didn't you take her home?" Lois asked. "Well I did but...look the thing is her dad gets so pissed about work he drinks a lot and he was really drunk last night." I said.

"I had great time with you." Lila said. "Yeah me to." I said as she opened her house door and her dad was their drunk. "Dad?!" She said. "Hey fairy. Come on let's go make love." He said as he grabbed her hand and was dragging her in the house. "Hey let go!" She said as I bit his hand grabbed her hand and ran out. "Owww! You bitch vampire! I hope my blood gives you harpies!" He said as he kept drinking.

"After that I offered her to sleep here tonight till her father cooled down." I said. "Then why were you in the same bed as her?" Lois asked. "She woke up from a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. So I comforted her." I said as Lila winked at Lois. "Well why didn't you wake us up?" Lois asked. "Because the last time I woke you two up Peter had an alarm every time someone tried to wake him." I said.

I walked in Peter and Lois's room and shook Peter. "Hey Peter wake up." I said as an alarm went off and a gun appeared from the ceiling and started shooting at me. I ran from the bullets and out of the room as Peter sighed in relief.

"Alright fine. But Lila if your father is so bad as a parent then why don't you just tell the police?" Lois asked. "Are you insane? She can't do that. She'll be put in foster care. And believe me the kids in there are rough." I said.

A kid walked up to a kid and they both said, "Hand me your wallet." As they were holding knives they Stabbed each other.

"Even so she can't just live like that." Lois said. "It's fine. I've been living like that for 2 years now." Lila said. "But Lila it's a bit harsh don't you think?" Lois asked. "Lois I'm already trying to figure out how to get her out of this but it's pretty hard considering the law is on his side." I said. "Then try your best, but I don't wanna keep seeing her in your bed." Lois said. "What's the big deal. After all you told me that you were a total slut when you were young." I said. "Well your not me got it. Now come down stairs for breakfast." Lois said as she left. Lila looked a bit worried. "Don't worry Lila I'll figure something out. Like Obama and how he figure out how to win the election." I said.

"Hello fellow Americans. Many of you keep asking why should you vote for me. Well let me tell you why. Because I'm honest, trustworthy, and most importantly. Because I am black. Thank you." Obama said as they all cheered.

Lila and I went down stairs and went to the kitchen. "Morning everyone." I said. "Good morning." Lila said as we sat down and the family was confused. "Um hi...when did you come in?" Brian asked. "She stayed over last night and slept in the same bed as Damion." Lois said. "What?! So you two?" Brian asked. "No, no we didn't do anything. We just slept in the same bed that's it." I said. "Well you missed your chance. After all if you had hit that forget about it you'd love her forever." Peter said."Look can everyone just shut up and just eat breakfast peacefully." I said as we just stayed silent. "...did you two almost do it?" Peter asked. "Alright we're going to school." I said as I went out the door. "See ya later everyone." Lila said as she left with me. "Man he was more embraced then Meg when she had that zit on her but." Peter said.

Meg was wearing two pairs of pants to hide the zit. She got to class then sat down and popped the zit. The juices splurged out and wet Meg's pants. "Eeewww Meg peed herself." Some guy said as they all laughed at her.

We were in the living room and it was getting late. Lila looked at the time and said, "I think it's time for me to head home." "Alright I'll walk you out." I said. "Oh are you taking her home?" Lois asked. "Yeah." I said. "How about I come with you. After all I got a few things to say to her dad." Lois said. "Oh no you don't have to do that Lois. I'll tell him what you said." I said. "No, no I insist. Lets go." Lois said as she pushed us out the door.

We got to her house and Lois knocked on the door. Lila and I were both worried at what was going to happen. He opened the door and the man was wearing a stained tank top with pants while holding a beer bottle. "Oh my god." I said as I face palmed my self. "Oh there you are you whore. Make me some dinner you dame fairy." He said as he grabbed her arm. "Ow your hurting me." Lila said. "Hey let go!" I said as I got his hand off her. "Excuse me Mr. Nile. I have a few things to say to you." Lois said. "Hey shut up! I'm hungry now make me dinner fairy!" He said as he fell flat on the floor passed out.

Lois called the cops and they arrested Lila's dad. "Lois what the hell?! I said don't call the cops!" I said. "And let her live with someone like him. No way!" Lois said. "It's a good thing you called Lois. It's a sad day when fathers act abusive." Joe said. "Joe what's gonna happen to Lila?" I asked. "She'll be taken to foster care. I'm sorry, but you won't see her again. Alright let's go miss." Joe said as she followed him to the car. "Wait Joe, isn't there another way!" I asked. "I'm sorry, but the law is the law." Joe said. I started to panic and was losing my mind. The minute Lila was about to enter the car I grabbed Joes gun and pointed it at him. "Whoa! Calm down son and just put the gun down." Joe said. "I'm not letting you take her to foster care!" I said. "So what your gonna shoot joe then?!" Lois asked scared. "No...I don't know! I just don't wanna lose her cause...I love her... I'm in love with her." I said as they all looked shocked. "Y...Your serious?" Lois asked. "Yes." I said. "Well even so I can't let her run around homeless. She's a minor and she must be put in foster care unless she has a legal guardian to represent her. And her records say she has no guardian." Joe said. "...Well what if I signed the papers to be her guardian?" Lois asked. "Wait what. You would actually take in another mouth to feed?" I asked as I put the gun down. "Yes. Damion, for as long as I've known you, you have never gotten along with anyone. But now you found someone that your in love with and I don't want that person to go away. So yes Peter and I will be her legal guardians." Lois said as I smiled and we hugged. I handed Joe the gun and said, "Sorry I pointed a gun at you." "Ah it's ok. But I think you should be talking to someone else." He said as he looked at Lila who was standing there surprised. I walked towards her and said, "So...what do you say? You wanna live with us?" I asked. "On one condition. If you say it again." She said. I blushed and said, "I love you Lila Nile." Lila was filled with joy and kissed me. We broke the kiss and just hugged as Joe and Lois looked at us touched. "Why won't this toilet flush?!" Lila's dad said in the cop car.

We were all in the living room watching tv with our newest family member. "Well Lila as the man of the house let me be the one to say welcome to our family." Peter said. "Thank you everyone. And I promise I'll do my very best to not burden you so much." Lila said. "By the way how exactly are we gonna be paying for her?" Brian asked. "We're going to be receiving a check from daddy for 1,000 dollars every week. I threatened to tell the press about some dark history about his bussiness." Lois said. "Well I don't care either way. As long as I get to stay by Lila's side." I said as Lila kissed me on the cheek. "There is a condition you two. Your not allowed to have sex in this house." Lois said. We both looked at each other and we both said, "We can live with that." "Your also not allowed to sleep in the same bed with each other." Lois said. "I think that's kinda unfair. I mean come on Meg's actually had sex before and you said nothing to her." I said. "The difference is that was a very long time ago and it was when she had a make over. But you two are living in the same roof now so were not gonna let you have your way." Lois said. "What about in the morning is that fine? Like if we're taking a nap." I asked. "Fine. But as soon as it's 7:00, you two have to get off each other." Lois said. "Deal." I said as we all just looked at the television. "...Oh, you can stop rolling now this stories over." I said.

It's been 3 weeks since Lila started living with us and I think she's started adjusting to the family. We were all eating dinner silently and Peter had just walked in wearing a bee keeper suit. "Lois the guys and I are going bee keeping." "At 7:00 pm? Who goes at that time?" I asked. "It's a very discreet bee keepers club." He said. "Fine just be home as soon as you can. We have to go to that PTA meeting at 8:30." Lois said. "Man I hate PTA meetings. Their really a pain in my ass. Like that time I had a harpoon in my ass." Peter said.

Peter walked in the kitchen and said, "Good morning family." Peter said with a harpoon sticking out of his ass. "Peter why is that harpoon in your ass?!" Lois asked. "Because if I have this I can lean where ever I want with out needing a chair." Peter said. "Yeah Peter that's not a really good Idea." I said. "Shut up...you don't know nothin." Peter said as he leaned on the harpoon and it went through his stomach.

"Look I don't like PTA meetings as much as you but we have no choice. We're raising 4 children now. We need to support them when it comes to academics. Thank god we don't have to worry about Damion since he already got that scholarship for his grades and the school says Lila could get a scholarship for her swimming and diving team. She's the best swimmer on her team so we have to go so we can help work that out." Lois said. "Wait your on the swimming and diving team?" Peter asked. "When I was little my mom and I would go out to our beach house every time dad was having a fit and I did a lot of swimming there that I eventually loved it." Lila said. "Yeah in fact the team might go to the championship with Lila." I said. "Wow, I'm more proud of you then ever now. Your like the daughter I've always wanted." Peter said. "What about me?" Meg asked. "Meg you have not done a single thing to make me proud of you at all, I honestly have not thought of you being great in anything except being the greatest person to fart on." Peter said as he took Meg's face and farted on it. She yelled and Peter laughed. "But anyway I'm proud of you Lila." Peter said. "Thanks Mr...I mean Peter." She said. "Hey wait ago. Your finally starting to call him Peter. Although you don't have to try calling him dad I don't think it would be some thing you'd wanna call him." I said. "Hey I'm a great dad." Peter said. "Really. Did you pick up Chris from soccer practice?" I asked.

Chris was sitting on the side walk waiting for Peter. "I wonder what's taking dad so long to get here?" He asked as Herbert just drove up to him in a old fashion car. "Hey there little fella. You need a ride?" He asked.

"Oh right." Peter said. "Face it Peter your not exactly father material. Plus your retarded, if you were a single parent your kids would be taken away from you considering how you'd treat them. In fact you could go to jail for all the crap you do to Meg. But because your her father she won't press charges." I said. "No it's because mom threatened to throw me in foster care if I did it." Meg said. "Shut up Meg your ruining my point. Bottom line your completely unfit to be a parent." I said. "Oh yeah! Well I'll prove it to you! In fact I'll be such a great dad that you'll finally call me dad for once." Peter said. "Yeah good luck with that." I said as I continued eating my food. "Look Peter I think your a great father and plus I wouldn't even try to get Damion to call you dad. I've tried for months to get him to call me mom and it doesn't bother me. Like how a monkey eats your banana." Lois said.

He was about to eat a banana when he got a phone call and put it down. "Hello." He said as the monkey ate his banana. "Hey thats my banana. Oh your so cute go ahead and eat it." He said as the monkey then drank his coffee. "Oh now your drinking my coffee, go ahead and drink it I can make another pot." He said as the monkey then gouged his eye out and he screamed in pain fell to the ground and said, "Ow, you just gouged my eye out...that's fine..." He said as he died and the monkey ate his eye.

Lois and Peter were at the PTA meeting and Peter was still upset at what happened at dinner. "Stinking Damion that jerk." Peter said. "Peter just let it go. You can't win with Damion ok. He's just a really independent kid. You can't get through to him." Lois said. "Maybe not...but maybe I can get through to him by being extra nice to his girlfriend and getting her to call me dad!" Peter said. "What do you mean? Your already nice to her." Lois said. "Yeah but I know a way I can make her like me even more and get her to call me dad! Then Damion will see how Lila likes me and start calling me dad too." Peter said. "Peter I don't think that'll work." Lois said. "Look Lois it's the only option I got so I'm gonna go with it." Peter said. "Fine, but don't go overboard." Lois said. "Oh don't worry Lois. This is an even greater plan then that time I invented something." Peter said.

"I did it. It took me 5 years but I finally did it. I made the butt scratcher." Peter said.

Lila had just entered her room and Peter said, "Surprise!" Lila noticed that her room was bigger. "Mr. Griffin what did you do?" "Man you called me Mr. But anyway I expanded your room." Peter said as Meg came in through the second door. "What happened to my room?!" Meg asked. "I broke through your wall and merged it with Lila's room." Peter said. "Why?!" Meg asked outraged. "Because Lila has gone through some hard stuff Meg and I'm just trying to make her feel more comfortable." Peter said. "What about my stuff?!" Meg asked. "I sold it to do this construction work." Peter said. "You what?! But that was my stuff!" Meg said. "Well now it's someone else's." Peter said. "Well where am I suppose to sleep you fat bastard?!" Meg asked. "Don't worry I know the perfect place for you." Peter said.

Meg was in the basement sitting on a dirty mattress pissed s hell. "That's it. Ever since she came here shes been making me feel worse. Well no more Mrs. Nice girl." Meg said. "Meg can you shut it I'm trying to do laundry." Lois said.

Lila was in the kitchen eating a sandwich when Meg came in. "Hey Lila." Meg said. "Oh Hi Meg. Look I wanna say I'm sorry about your room I never asked Mr. Griffin to do that for me and as for what happened to me I'm already over it." Lila said. "Oh it's no problem at all. In fact I got you some chocolates to show no hard feelings." Meg said as she handed Lila the chocolate. "Thanks, but I should probably take one bite I don't wanna ruin my figure for swimming." Lila said as she took one bite and passed out dropping her head flat on the table. Meg dragged her over to Brian's car and drove off.

Peter and Lois were in the living room and I just walked in. "Hey have you guys seen Lila. I can't find her anywhere and she won't pick up her phone." I said. "Maybe she went out?" Lois suggested. "No she always tells me if she's gonna go out." I said. Brian came and shut the door hard. "Dame it some one stole my car again!" Brian said. "Again. Seriously Brian keep your keys on you at all time. That's why I keep mine in my stomach." Peter said as he burped and his cars alarm was going off. Peter punched his stomach and made it stop. "Your cars missing huh. Usually when that happens someone who's about to do something evil steals it." I said. Stewie comes in holding some chocolate and says, "Well I am having a fantastic day. I just found some chocolate on the table and I just fit into my smaller clothes. This is a good day." He takes a bite out o the chocolate and passes out flat onto the floor. "Oh my god Stewie! What's wrong with him?!" Brian sniffs the chocolate and says "The chocolates drugged. But why would anyone have drugged chocolate in this house?" Brian asked. "Wait a minute where's Meg?" I asked. "I don't know. Why would we know where Meg is?" Peter asked. "Oh my god. I just remembered I overheard Meg talking about how she was gonna take Lila down!" Lois said. "Oh my god Lila! Meg you son of a bitch I'll kill you! Peter we gotta go!" I said in panic. "But we don't even know where they are!" Lois said. "Don't worry I have Lila's scent so I can find her." Brian said. "Wait how do you have Lila's scent?" I asked. "Oh uh I uh I just happened to have sniffed something she had." Brian said.

Lila got out of the shower and put her dirty clothes in the laundry. She then left the bathroom and went to her room. Brian made shore no one was around and went in the basket and took out Lila's underwear and sniffed them really hard. "Oh yeah...(sniff) (sniff) they have a bit of blood on them." Brian said.

"Whatever, come on Peter we gotta go save Lila!" I said. "Right lets go. Just let me get my keys." Peter said as he grabbed a news paper and went to the bathroom.

Meg and Lila were in an old factory and Lila was finally gaining consciousness. "Where am I? Hello?! Is anyone there?!" Lila called out. "I'm here." Meg said as she stepped out of the shadow. "Meg! What's going on?! Why am I tied to a chair?!" Lila asked scared. "Ever since you came you've been making my life even more crapier. And I'm sick of it! So now I'm gonna kill you and be done with you." Meg said as she held a gun up. "Meg please! I know sometimes you feel like crap because the family gives me a bit more attention, but I don't mean to make you feel like that. And if I did I'm sorry." Lila said. "I'm sorry too. Sorry I have to do this. And don't worry about Damion. I'm sure he'll be much happier being with me." Meg said as she pointed the gun at Lila. Lila closed her eyes scared when we bust the doors open. "Lila!" I screamed. "Damion!" She screamed as Meg held the gun closer to Lila's head. "Don't come any closer!" Meg ordered. "Meg calm down. Just put the gun down." I said. "Not until you here me out." Meg said. "Fine what do you want?" I asked. "I want dad to give me back my room and buy me new stuff. I want to be treated like an equal in the family." Meg said. "Alright fine that's agreeable." I said. "And I want you to break up with Lila throw her out of the house and marry me." Meg said. "What?! Ok no way Meg! Look I'm sorry if we've been treating you so badly, but look I am not gonna marry you! We disagree on things so many times and plus your too much like a typical teenage girl and I hate them so no. Plus I'm in love with Lila. I really love her." I said as Lila smiled. "Fine then say good bye to your loved one!" Meg said. "Meg I swear if you pull that trigger I'll kill you!" I yelled. "Then here's the gun and kill me because I can't stand being here!" Meg said she offered me the gun. "Both of you just shut up right now!" Peter said as we turned our attention to him. "Now Meg listen I'm sorry I sold all your stuff and what I did to your room, but I was only doing that to make Lila feel better about her dad. After all she's my daughter now and believe me I'd do the same for you too. So please put the gun down and when we get home will get you your stuff back and change your room back to the way it was." Peter said. "Really?" Meg asked. "I promise." Peter said as Meg dropped the gun and ran to Peter and hugged him. I ran to Lila and untied her the I hugged her, grateful that she was okay. I looked at Peter and said. "You know that was a really responsible thing you just said. Thanks for saving Lila for me...dad." I said as I hugged Peter. "Aww I love you kids. Hey Lila come on there's more room for one more griffin family." Peter said as Lila hugged him too. "Come on family. Lets go home." Peter said as we left.

We were all in the living room watching TV. "Lila I just wanna say again I'm really sorry for what I did." Meg said. "It's okay Meg. I know how hard it is to be the one who isn't cared by your family." Lila said. "So does that mean you'll pull down the restraining order?" Meg said. "No." She said. "By the way Meg where did you get the gun?" Brian asked. "Oh I got it from Mr. Swanson." Meg said.

Joe was chasing a burgled and he cornered him and said, "Freeze dirt bag!" as he was holding a banana. "What the hell happened to my gun?!" Joe said as the burgled pushed Joe to the floor and ran.

It was bright and sunny day at the Griffin house hold. Lila and I were watching TV.

"And in other news. Listen up couples in Quahog, cause in 2 weeks is the 'Couples Dance off' Competition!" Tom said. "Thats right Tom. Participants of the age of 15-20 are to sign up with their partner and dance their buts off. And who ever wins will receive a free trip to Hawaii!" Joyce said. "So Good luck couples out there….." Tom stopped talking when he saw Joyce start putting on her make up in front of the camera. "What are you doing? You putting on more make up you whore. Gonna look nice for your pimp you slut." Tom said. "Tom!" Joyce said. "Were in the middle of a show and your putting make up on!" Tom said. "It's just a little touch up." Joyce said. "Oh just a little touch up. Well then I'll just do a little punch you!" Tom said as he punched Joyce and she fell to the floor. "And we will be back." Tom said.

"Hey Dmaion lets enter it!" Lila said excitedly. "What?" I asked. "Yeah after all were a couple. And think if we won we could go to Hawaii and do other stuff. After all will be alone there since Peter and Lois won't be joining us." Lila said. "Well that all sounds wonderful but we have a problem. I cant dance. All my life I lived in an orphanage and I never really got the chance to dance. All I did was study there." I said. "Well I can teach you. It's not really that hard to dance. You just need to follow the beat of your emotions." Lila said. "You really think I could learn how to dance?" I asked. "Absolutely." She said with a smile. "Alright then lets do it!" I said excitedly. "Thats the spirit. I'll teach you better then Peter did and when he tried teaching Stewie potty training." She said.

Peter and Stewie were in the bathroom and Peter said, "Alright Stewie now the important thing about taking a dump is to always sit on the toilet seat." Peter said a she took off his pants and sat down on the toliet. "Then if you want to feel a little bit more comfortable just lean on the toilet. Then just let it…all…out…." Peter said as he fell asleep on the toilet. "Uh look at him. He's so fat and digusting…Hmmmm" Stewie said as he went to grab a marker and took Peters shirt off then wrote turd on his stomach.

Peter, Quagmire, and Joe were at the bar having another one of their drunken conversations. "Alright heres a good one. Would you rather be a woman who gets plowed by Rosy Odanald. Or be plowed by Larry King? "Peter asked. "Like is it in the dark or are the lights on?" Quagmire asked. "Lights on." Peter said. "Well who's on top?" Joe asked. "They both are." Peter said. "Man I don't know it all sounds way to scary." Quagmire said. "You know we've been playing I never forever. Lets play something more interesting like 'say uncle'. And who ever says uncle the last then the losers has to pay the winners bar tab for a year." Joe said. "Oh sweet I want that. I could finally splurge on beer like I've always wanted." Peter said.

Peter slammed the door open looking more drunk then he's ever been and said, "Hey Lois lets go I'm horny." Peter said. "Peter what the hell is wrong with you!?" Lois asked "I gotta pee." Peter said as he peed his pants then passed out drunk.

Lila and I were in the garage practicing for the dance competition and I was doing horrible. We were trying to do the salsa and I kept stepping on Lila's toes. "Ow." She said. "Lila I am so sorry." I said. "It's fine. How about we take a break." Lila said as she left. I sighed and said, "I'll never get this down." Stewie came in and asked. "Hey whats up?" "Oh hey. Lila and I are practicing for the couples dancing competition and I keep stepping on her toes. I'm just not that good at dancing. When it comes to following my emotions it's harder then when Fat Albert's tryng not to eat sweets." I said.

"Alright if you wanna get better your gonna have to go on a diet. Now your gonna have to exercise daily and eat healthy." Dr. Hartman said when one of his colleges came in. "Hey Hartman. I just got us some pink berry want some." He said as Fat Albert ate him and the pink berry.

"Well if your having difficulties with dancing I suppose I could help you out." Stewie said as he took a bottle of pills out of his pockets and handed it to me. "What's this?" I asked. "It's a pill that heightens your body movements and makes you a better dancer. I invented it. Just take one of these and you'll win that competition for sure." Stewie said. "Why did you invent these?" I asked. "I like to go out dancing at the clubs." Stewie said.

Stewie was at club Pizari and he was dancing to the 'open Gangnam style'. He was dancing like a maniac.

"I cant take these that would be cheating." I said. "Well suit your self then." Stewie said as he left me with the pills. I looked at the pills and thought about how Lila wanted to win the competition. So I took the pill. My body felt like it was on fire and I had to move my body. Lila came back and said, "Alright lets continue practicing." "R-Right lets dance." I said. We started dancing I was dancing amazingly. I was leading her like I was a state champion. We finished dancing and Lila was really impressed. "Wow! Where did that come from?" "I guess I had to get a little adjusted." I said. "Well if you keep dancing like that will win for sure! Hang on I'll be right back." Lila said as she left. I looked at the pills and said, "It's to make Lila happy."

Peter, Quagmire, and Joe were at a farm in a barn where their were cows. "Alright fellas. Lets jump in that cow poop. Unless someone wants to say something." Peter said. Quagmire and Joe gulped and said, "Lets do this." They all jumped in the poop and they all said, "Oh my God!" "It's so mushy!" "Ahhh it went in my mouth!"

The guys were at a hard core gay place and Peter said, "Alright who's first?" Peter asked. "Remind me again what were doing here?" Quagmire asked. "We all gotta go kiss a gay guy." Peter said. "Okay hell no! You know what screw this! I'm not doing it! Uncle! Alright! Uncle!" Quagmire said. "Yes what is it Glen?" Quagmire's gay uncle asked.

It was the day of the of the competition and Lila and I were real nervous. "Man all those other couples look really good." Lila said. "Don't worry Lila, will win. We've been practicing for 2 weeks now so were bound to win." I said as I held her hand and she smiled. We heard the crowd cheer and Lila said, "Were the last ones. Lets break a leg." Lila said as she went in first. I was holding the pills and sighed then took one. I went out there and Lila and I started dancing. First we did the salsa….then we danced the robot...finally we danced the open Gangnam style. The crowd cheered for us and the judges said, "Ladies and Gentleman. We've made our decision. The winners are...Damion and Lila!" The judge said as Lila kissed me in excitement. "Oh we won! This is so exciting! We did it Damion!" Lila said. "Yeah…no…." I said as I grabbed the mike. "Ladies and Gentleman I have an announcement. I cheated. I took pills to help me become a better dancer." I said. "What?" Lila said. "Lila I'm so sorry. It's just I wanted to win for you so bad I took these pills. I just wanted to make you happy." I said. "Damion I didn't care about winning." She said. "Really?" I said. "No. All I wanted to do was dance with you. You know have some fun. I would have been happy no matter what." She said as she hugged me and the crowd cheered. "Excuse me why are you all cheering! These two cheated, security!" The judge said. "We get it we'll leave. Man your a bigger mood killer then a fat guy and when he farts in a dramatic moment."

It was the play Phantom of the Opera and the phantom was holding his loved one as she died and he cried. Then a fat guy farted really loudly and everyone looked at him.

Peter and Joe were at a puppet shop and the thing about Peter was that he had a secret fear of wooden puppets he only told Joe and Quagmire. "All right Peter. Were gonna role play with these wooden puppets." Joe said. "O-Ok. " Peter said nervous. Joe gabbed a puppet that looked like a goblin and Peter was really scared. "I'm Goobal and I'll gobble your soul." Joe said as Peter screamed and said, "UNCLE!" He ran out of there fast. "Heh heh. I knew I'd win. Right?" Joe said. "Shut it cripple douche." Goobal said. Joe didn't try making it talk so he gently put it down and rolled out of there.

The day was fresh and vibrant. Lila and I were at school and class had finally ended. Lila walked up to me and I said, "Finally it's over. Seriously I might as well teach the class myself cause that was too easy." I said. "I think I'd like being taught by you." Lila said when their was an announcement, "Attention students. The school is finally bringing back the lacrosse program after all the death threats and people throwing rocks at my house I have finally decided to bring it back. So anyone interested in joining lacrosse please meet after school in the gym." "Hey Damion maybe you should sign up for lacrosse?" Lila said. "I don't know about that. I'm not much of a sports guy. Like how Zack Efron was never meant to be straight." I said.

Zack Efron was singing, "I'm singing in a musical. And I'm singing in high school. Am I straight. No I'm not. Cause I'm singing in a musical."

"But sports can really put you in shape and you've been kinda lazy lately." Lila said.

I was laying on the couch and was watching TV when Peter ran in the room on fire trying to put him self out. I just kept watching TV completely ignoring him. He finally put himself out and the passed out on to the floor. "I should probably call 911." I said as I tried reaching for the phone. "But it's too far." I said.

"I guess your right. I mean it would be good to get in shape...you know what...I will join." I said. "Great!" Lila said excitedly. "Hey. Hey." Some guy whispered. "You wanna by some gummy bears?" We both shook our heads saying no and he just left while we both stared at him completely confused.

Peter and Lois were watching TV. "And in later news the boy who said he was a descendant of an army air pilot lied. He just said that so he could go on TV so his parents would see him on TV and find him. Well now they do know where to find him. In jail." Tom said. "Man the news has so many stuff. Hey Lois I got an idea. We should find something interesting so we can be on the news." Peter said. "What, why would you wanna be on the news?" Lois asked. "I have a message I need to tell people." Peter said.

"Ladies and Gentleman. I have something important to tell you. You see the government has lied to you. The songs you know we're not created by humans...but by aliens. And now I will be playing a song that has been made by them." Peter said as he started playing a Justin Beaber song.

"Well What could we find that was news worthy?" Lois asked. "I don't know. We just have to look around ask questions and will find something." Peter said. "Well I do have experience when it comes to the news...alright I guess we could try to find some dirt." Lois said. "At a girl. We'll find something so amazing that it'll be better then my favorite moment in life." Peter said.

"I lost one pound!" Peter said excited.

I was running with the other kids who signed up for lacrosse and I was pretty slow. We finally finished and I was so tired. "How do you guys do this anyway. It's so tiring." I said. "Oh that's because we all have to take something." He said. "Alright boys take your dose. The coach said as he handed the guys syringes. "Coach what's with these?" I asked. Their steroids inject your self with it and you'll run faster." The coach said. "What?! I'm not taking this what the hell?! Why are you guys taking steroids that's cheating!" I said. "Look it doesn't matter all the teams are doing it. Our foot ball team, our tennis team, even the chess team." He said.

The nerds were playing chess and their brains were beeping. "Rook 1 to bishop 2." "Checkmate!" He said as the other nerd got angry and tried to flip the table but was to weak to do it.

"This can't be legal! Coaches aren't aloud to give kids steroids! I'm telling the principle." I said as the principle came to check up on us. "How's it going kids?" He asked. "Sir the coaches are giving us steroids!" I said. "Yeah I know." He said. "What?! Why are you letting this happen?!" I asked. "Because when our teams aren't using steroids they lose so we have to bulk them up fast or they'll never win. This time we won't get caught and have to shut down the program again." He said. "I can't believe you people! I'm going to the police." I said. "Oh no your not. Cause if you do I'm gonna hold you back a year." He said. "You can't do that it's illegal." I said. "Not unless your grades were really low. And even if you tell someone who will believe you. A teenager who's going through dramatic moments. Or an adult who's the principle and honest. Now stay quiet and take your steroids." He said. "I'm not taking that." I said. "Fine then your off the team." He said. "Fine! You know this is why I hate humans, you all just do whatever you want and blackmail people. Well I swear I'll uncover your secret to people I swear." I said as I left. "Should we be worried." The kid asked. "Please he's just a kid what can he do. He's as useless as a fat guy who can't get up." The principle said.

A fat guy was walking and he tripped. He tried to get up but he was too fat to get up. "Help. I've fallen and I can't get up." He said as they all laughed.

Peter and Lois were sneaking around the neighborhood at night hopeing to find something that was news worthy so they decided to sneak into Quagmire's house. "Peter are you sure we should be sneaking into Quagmire's house?" Lois asked. "Relax Lois I told you he's in Vegas for the week." Petr said.

Quagmire was in a hotel with 3 girls and they all had whips. "Alright girls lets get started." Quagmire said as he was tied to the bed and the girls whipped him. "Oh god yes! Oh Giggity!" Quagmire screamed.

Lois checked his room and it was filled with a ton of sex toys that it wasn't even funny. Peter checked his kitchen, went to the fridge and grabbed the beer then started drinking. "Peter I can't find anything news worthy...Peter are you drunk?" Lois asked as Peter was so drunk his clothes were barely hanging on. "No your drunk you stupid cactus. Why the hell...why the hell are you a huge drinker cactus?" Peter asked a she kept drinking. "Peter just give me the beer." Lois said as Peter broke the end of the beer bottle and held it facing Lois. "Take this then you...you..." Peter passed out and fell to the floor while the beer bottle stabbed his stomach and blood was pouring out onto the floor.

Lila was watching TV when I came in slamming the door. "What's wrong Damion?" Lila asked. "Lila did you know the entire schools sports team uses steroids?" I asked. "What?! No I had no idea." She said. "Your on the swimming and diving team how do you not know?" I asked. "I don't know. But then again I always show up late." She said.

"Alright kids here's your dose of steroids take it and start swimming." The coach said as the all took steroids and started swimming. "Sorry I'm late did I miss something?" Lila said. "We're all out so just get swimming." The coach said. "Out of what?" Lila asked. "Don't worry about it." The coach said.

"Well what ever the case we gotta expose them. We can't just let them cheat like this. Although the problem is how are we gonna do it? After all the principles threatening me." I said as Peter and Lois walked in pissed. "What's wrong with you guys?" I asked. "We've been trying to find something to put on the news but we couldn't find anything." Lois said. "News huh...well I know where you can get that. But will need your help." I said.

We were all in the living room watching TV. "Good day Quahog. Our top story today, local high school Jameswood High has just been revealed of making their sports teams use steroids. The principle was fired immediately and the school had to return every trophy they ever won. Also many parents are at an uproar about how their kids were given steroids and thus Jameswoods High will be closed until a new principle is to be found. So kids will have an early release on summer vacation." Tom said.

"Yay! We get an early summer vacation!" Chris said. "By the way how did you guys reveal they were using steroids?" Meg asked. "Ah it was easy." Peter said.

The kids were taking their dose of steroids and Peter walked in took a picture and walked out without the kids even caring. "I know this cut away was kinda lazy, but not all of them can be funny." Peter said.

"Well I'm glad that we exposed the school, but I'm kinda upset cause now Damion won't have a physical activity." Lila said. "Well Lila I do work out you know. I go out for a jog early in the morning." I said. "But I've never seen you jog." Lila said. "That's because I wake up at 3 A.M. To jog." I said. "Oh ok. Then never mind." Lila said. "I still can't believe that Jameswood high was actually using steroids on their kids." Brian said. "Yeah because lots of people will do anything to win. But using steroids isn't the answer. Hard work and dedication is. So you kids better remember to stay away from drugs cause drugs aren't the answer. And cheating is wrong." Peter said. "Who the hell are you talking to?" I asked.

The family except Peter, was in the living room watching TV. "And in later news, people of Quahog beware yourselves for we have a sociopath around here. His name is Ricky Spanish and he has been doing things unbelievable to our town." Tom said as Ricky Spanish stole Tom's mustache. "Ha ha got your mustache." Ricky Spanish said. "Dame you Ricky Spanish!" Tom yelled.

Peter came in looking excited and said, "Everybody guess what! I just won us a trip to Japan!" Peter said as we all looked surprised. "What! How did you do that?!" Lois asked. "It was easy. It's like that contest was made for me." Peter said.

Peter was listening radio show and they asked, "Alright fans. We got family tickets to Japan and whoever has ever farted on their daughters face call now."

"Well this is incredible!" Lois said. "But how will we understand them?" Meg asked. "Oh don't worry I speak Japanese. I learned it at the orphanage cause I always admired their culture. I also learned how to speak Spanish, Italian, and German." I said. "Wow Damion your really smart." Lila said. "So where are we staying?" I asked. "It says we're staying at the Kawani Hotel. It's got a bath house. Oh cool I'm gonna make a huge cannonball there." Peter said. "Sie fett verzögert. (You fat retard)" I said. "Alright! The Griffin's are going to Japan." Peter said.

We were all on a plain towards Japan and the family was really excited. "You know Brian a way to tell your in Japan is if you see a dragon." Stewie said. "That's ridiculous you can-" Brian got cut off. "Oh look their's one now." Stewie said. "Hello there." The dragon said. Lila noticed I was clenching onto something and asked. "Hey Damion what's that?" "Oh this. It's something that was left for me by my birth parents when the orphanage found me. I have no idea where the other half is, but I hope that one day I do find it cause if I find it then I might find my birth parents." I said. The necklace was half of a coin that looked like it had some writing on it. "Peter sit back down!" Lois said as Peter was drunk and said, "Hey everybody. How many of you wanna see me pee on this plain?" "Doesn't matter where he is he'll always be drunk." I said. "Attention passengers. If you look out your windows you will see that we have just arrived to Japan." The pilot said as we looked out the window. We saw a lot of big buildings and some statues too. "Huh not that much different from America. Except the people look alike." Stewie said.

The plain flew down and we were all getting out of the plain. Peter said, "Well kids welcome to Japan. The place where everyone knows math." Peter said. "Gosh I'm so excited. We're actually in Japan. This is gonna be so much fun." Lois said. "We should probably check in first before we go sight seeing." Brian said. "Man look around Brian. It's like were filled with clones." Stewie said. "Stewie will you stop making racist comments it's disrespectful." Brian said. "Yeah besides these people have a nice culture. Hey look it's Jakie Chan." I said. "Hello." Jakie said as a kid went up to him said, "Hey Jak-" the kid got cut off by Jakie kicking him. He looked worried and ran as fast as he could as we all stared at him surprised at what he did.

We were at the hotel checking in and we walked toward the counter. "Kon'nichiwa to kangei. (Hello there and welcome.)" The lady said. "Me Peter. This family. We won a contest and are here to check in." Peter said. "Peter let me talk." I said. "Kon'nichiwa watashi no kazoku to watashi wa koko no isshūkan taizai suru kontesuto de yūshō shita. Gurifinzudeatta. (Hello my family and I won a contest to stay here for a week. We're the Griffins.)" I said. "Ah yes the Griffins. Don't worry I speak English as well. My name is Kyoko. Please follow me to your room." She said.

We were all in our room and it had 3 bedrooms but no bed. "Lois where are the beds?" Peter asked. "There are no beds. The Japanese use tatami mats to sleep. They should be in the closet." I said as I opened the closet. "Wow this will be an interesting experience." Lois said. "What we gotta sleep on the floor with sheets?" Peter said. "Peter relax their softer then you think. Besides look at the bright side you still have TV." I said pointing towards the TV.

It was a channel that had on a news channel. "Kon'nicihiwa. This is Japanese news story. Our top story, today fierce monster Godzilla is getting married to lady Godzilla. This is what they had to say." He said. "Ahhhhhhhhh." Godzilla screamed.

"Well as long as they have beer I'll be fine." Peter said. "Oh they don't have beer. They have saki instead." I said. "Nooooooooooooo!" Peter screamed. "Peter relax you can still get drunk just relax." I said. "Man this trip is turning out worse then that time I tried ecstasy." Peter said.

Peter just took some ecstasy and he looked high as fuck. He ran into a wall then looked around and tore someone in half. Then he made himself puke.

We were all in the bath house, the girls were on the female side while the men were on the male side. Lila sighed and said, "This feels really nice." Lila said. "I know it's like my troubles are just gong away." Lois said. "Yeah it's like I've just become more beautiful." Meg said. "Please Meg you would have to have been beautiful in the first place." Lois said as Meg got sad and tried to drown herself.

The men were getting in the bath house and Peter said, "Damion why are you wearing a swimsuit?" "I don't like taking a bath nude it feels uncomfortable. You know cause were just swimming in our own filth." I said. "Whatever. Cannonball!" Peter said as he jumped in. "Yeah me too!" Chris said as he jumped in. "Ahh this feels great right Chris?" Peter asked. "Yeah." Chris said as they both farted in the bath. "Well I'm not going in anytime soon." I said as I left.

I tried going back to our room, but then I heard something that sounded pretty familiar. It's weird, but I just couldn't ignore it. I followed the music till I went inside a small room. I saw a little music box and I closed it then the music stopped. "Weird." I said. "What are you doing here?" Kyoko asked. "Oh I'm sorry it's just I heard this box playing some music and I couldn't resist. It sounded very relaxing." I said as I handed her the box. "Ah yes. This box holds many memories for me. But it contains something even greater." She said as she opened the box and took out half a broken piece of a coin. I was shocked cause it looked like it was part of my necklace. "This piece is something I hold dear to me. With out it I wouldn't be able to live with myself." She said. "T-That piece." I said as I took out my necklace and it was a perfect fit. We were both shocked but we filled in the pieces. "Oh my god! Your my mother!" I said. "Oh my god! Your my son Damion!" She said. "Kyoko! Some fat American just pooped in the bath house." An employee said. "Not now! Leave!" She said as he left. "I can't believe this. Your my mother?" I asked. She sighed and said, "Yes I am." "Oh my god. So I'm Japanese?" I asked. "Half Japanese. Your father was an American." She said. "I can't believe this. I've wanted to meet you for so long. And now I need to know why you abandoned me?" I asked. "Well it's a long story but a long time ago I was in America trying to become an idol, but it didn't work out too well. Then I met your father at a coffee shop. We had such wonderful times and then we had you. But one day he died from a chicken who crashed his car into him and the chicken was very disrespectful because he didn't even notice he killed him. He just kept fighting a fat American. Anyway because he died I didn't have enough money to raise you so I had no choice. I gave you to an orphanage and went back to Japan. I've been waiting for this day for a long time. And look how much you've grown. You look very handsome." She said. "Then what about this coin?" I asked. "This is a charm from my family. It means luck. As in may good fortune always be in your path." She said. "I just can't believe this." I said. "Damion I know I wasn't there for you in the past but now that we've found each other I want to get to know you and become the mother you always wanted." She said. "We'll I already have a mother but...I'm sorry this is too much. I need to think about this." I said. "I understand." She said as I left. The employee came back and said, "A second fat American pooped in the bath house!"

I was in our room and the family just came in, "I can't believe you pooped in the bath house." Lois said. "Lois you know warm water makes me poop faster." Peter said. "Guys I got something to talk to you about." I said. "What is it Damion?" Lila asked. "I just met my birth mother." I said as the family looked really shocked. "W-What? You met your birth mother?" Lois asked. "Yeah I did." I said. "Kids go wait in the other room." Lois said. As the kids went to the other room. "So you actually met your birth mother." Lois said. "Yeah. I know it's her because she had the other piece of my coin." I said. "Well what did she say?" Lois asked. "She just said that she's happy to see me and she wants to get to know me." I said. "So are you?" Brian asked. "Well...I don't know exactly. I mean it would be nice to get to know my birth mother and all, but it's just what can I say to her? 'How have you been since you abandoned me?' Things would be more awkward then someone running into a guy who tried to murder you." I said.

A guy was walking down the side walk when he saw someone who looked like the guy who tried to murder him. He tried to hide but couldn't. The guy recognized him and said, "Look man I'm sorry I tried to murder you. I've gotten help and now I'm fine." He said but the guy was so scared that he punched him and ran away.

"Well how about just giving her a chance." Brian said. "Really? I mean I'm not really sure if I should." I said. "Look Damion if this woman says she wants to be apart of your life now you should give her a chance. After all you only get one birth mother. You should at least get to know her." Lois said. "...Okay...I'll give her a chance." I said. "Lois this may be a bad time to say this now, but I might have pooped in the hall way just now." Peter said. "Ahhhh! Poop!" Someone in the hallway just said.

My mother and I were at a little cafe just trying to catch up and it was going pretty bad. We didn't really have much to say to each other. "...So...you work at a hotel?" I asked. "Yes I do." She said. "And your the manager?" I asked. "Yes." She said. We both just stayed silent after that. I sighed and looked at my smart phone. When that gave her an idea. "Hey you ever heard of manga?" She said. "I've heard of it but never really read it why?" I asked. "Here give me your phone. Let me show you something." She said as I handed her my phone. She showed me a manga that was about a kid who found an alien girl and had to keep living each day like hell and it was pretty funny. "Ha ha this is pretty good." I said. "You know who helped make that? Me." She said. "Really you made this?" I asked. "Yes. Me and my college friends decided to work on it. I was the one who came up with the idea." She said. "Huh the kids name is Damion." I said. "Yes because I named you after him." She said. "Really? So I'm named after a manga character." I said as I smiled. After that the gap between us dropped and we were finally able to talk to each other.

It was our time for us to go home and I was saying good bye to my mother. "Well it's been nice getting to know you and when I get back home I'll email you." I said. "Okay and Lila please take good care of my son." She said. "I will Ms. Takane." Lila said. "Here Damion." She said as she handed me the other peice of the coin. "May luck always be on your side." She said. I hugged her and then said good bye as I went on the plain with Lila. And we left Japan as the dragons were flying with us.


End file.
